Why politeness is likely the first casualty of romantic relationships

Have you noticed how some couples in long-term relationships treat each other worse than you would ever think of treating a friend or an acquaintance? I hope that’s not the case in your love relationship. If it is, it may be time to consider implementing some changes.

There lies an assumption and expectation that if both people are committed, you’ll be loved whether or not you ignore rules of common courtesy.

That may be true to a certain extent, but it drains and exacerbates existing problems, in turn, the relationship.

In your frontal lobe lies the ability to make decisions. When you are angry, blood rushes to the frontal lobe and clouds rational thought. Your natural “fight or flight” instincts kick in, allowing you to react first and think later. It’s natural human instinct…

But it also triggers your partner’s “flight of flight” and facilitates escalation of conflict.

Ever heard the old adage, “Count to 10 before you react?” It comes in handy here. In doing so, you’re allowing time for that rush of blood to leave your frontal lobe. Cloudy thought then becomes more rational.

Less Conflict = win-win!

I get you become comfortable with each other and sometimes don’t feel like you have to abide by common courtesy rules as you would a colleague or a stranger. But love and respect may help diminish problems or prevent issues that arise.

Please consider that the next time you find yourself tempted to throw rules out the window.

For now, I’ll leave you with this:

What would your relationship look like if you spoke the truth with calmness, respect, and loving kindness?

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Coffee drinker, dreamer, go-getter, snowboarder addict, lover of life. And I hate BS.

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