Running is like drinking beer (or any kind of alcohol). For some people, it’s an acquired taste.
There was a time in my life when I hated running with a passion, when running half a mile was torturous and I told myself I’d rather die. And when I gained 35 pounds and read that the quickest way to lose weight was to pick up jogging…I gave it a go (and still hated it initially). But that’s the shorter version of the story.
The fact that I gained weight wasn’t the real issue. Sure, I wasn’t happy that I didn’t look like I did in high school anymore. But the weight was just surface level problem.
The real issue was I hated life. I hated myself, and every part of my being. I felt stuck, depressed, hopeless, gross, because I felt like I couldn’t get out of the life I was given. I felt victimized. And then I hated how I felt about that. And hated the fact I felt stuck. I could go on. It was a vicious cycle (insert angry Hulk smash here)…
I knew the only solution was to do something about it. And the only chance I had was to fight against all my doubts and beliefs, somehow. I knew I wasn’t going to convince myself to change my thoughts. But I thought maybe if my actions contradicted my brain, it would somehow get me out of the cycle.
It was a struggle, not going to lie. So much struggle I wanted to give up again and again. But I knew if I didn’t keep going, I was never going to be able to move forward with my life. And oh, I so wanted to be out of my own ditch, and I dare say, be gung-ho about life. I wanted to live my life fiercely and fearlessly (insert Wonder Woman stance here).
I had to do something.
So I came up with a plan and I went running every other day, rain or shine. I carried my big ass portable CD player with me, and those massive, non-sweatproof headphones, and hit the tracks. Every other mother-freakin’ day.
I never knew myself to be so determined. I surprised myself.
At first, I wanted to cry and cuss myself out. Oh wait, I did. And even through the tears of frustration and anger at life and at myself, I kept running. I imagined myself running away from all the shit that I didn’t ask for in my life.
The first time I tried, I got into my car, said “what the fuck,” and went back in the house. The next time, I showed up to the track, looked at it, and went back home. I was so disappointed in myself and kept getting in my own head.
When I finally did take my first step on the track, I ran just half a lap around the track, got back into my car, and yelled the F word at the top of my lungs. And then half a lap became a lap. A lap became three, etc. Still wanted to cry (sometimes did cry) and curse the world. But I kept running. Like Forrest Gump. Ok, not as hardcore as Forrest. But I sure did run.
A few weekends ago, a group of friends and I ran from Huntington Beach to San Diego, totaling 200-ish miles altogether (Ragnar Relay). Some ran more than others, but we worked together, ran at our own pace and abilities, and spurred each other on. We became Ragnarians. And I’d do it again. I will do it again.
And while this story is about me…I’m here to talk about you.
We all have an inner-Gremlin that knows what to say at the right times to keep us down. But also, somewhere deep inside your core, YOU ARE A BADASS. Maybe you don’t know it yet, because the Gremlin has fought so hard to pin you down.
YOU ARE A BADASS.
YOU ARE A BADASS!!!
Sometimes, it takes a change of mindset and determination, to reach our goals. Sometimes, we need friends by our side- cheering us on and holding us accountable. When we are able to get to that place, it’s great.
But I know the hardest part is getting over that first hurdle. You have a goal, but how and where the heck do you even begin? Maybe you don’t know what the first step to take is. Or maybe you know, but actually physically getting yourself to take that initial step seems like the world’s biggest challenge.
Friend, I am here to help!
Let me help you declutter the noise, and help you discover and channel your inner wild. Together, we can help you get past that first daunting hurdle, so you can unleash the badass you are and get closer to your goal!
I’m Teresa, gluten-free pizza eater, adventurer, empowerment coach. I help people find their voice, become who they want to be and all that they can be.
If you’re ready to live your life at your fullest potential, let’s schedule your complimentary 20-30 minute consultation.
You can reach me via the Contact form here, or email me at:
CandidlySheSpeaks@gmail.comLet’s get wild!